Street Harassment- Tell 'Em Why You Mad!

Street Harassment- Tell 'Em Why You Mad!

I came across this post on Clutch Mag that describes a problem that young women, myself included, come across on a daily basis-- STREET HARASSMENT.

I've had many days when I've wished that I were invisible as I moved through my day running errands, pumping gas, etc. It's an unfortunate situation and I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who is disturbed by the leering and unwanted cat calls that, for some reason, guys think is flattering. It is not.

Everyone knows of my desire to move to NY-- at least temporarily. When I think about the amount of walking and objectification that I may have to endure as a result of my extra-pedestrian activities, I must admit, I feel a bit apprehensive. I've been to NY several times and did a great deal of walking without incident but that was only within a short span of time-- a couple of days. I can remember my pre-car days on Marta and the sexual terrorism that was always a lurking possibility at every stop. These days it's hard enough warding off unwanted advances walking from a building to my car. Am I ready to relive the crazy on the subways of NY? I've gotta think about this one...

In the meantime check out this vid. about street harassment... and let me know if you can relate.


Tell 'Em Why You Mad Ep 004 Harassment from Tell Em Why You Mad on Vimeo.

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One of the best things I've done so far...

One of the best things I've done so far...

When I look back on my life I can honestly say that going away to school was one of the best decisions I ever made.  I remember my seventh grade typing class teacher, Mrs Schaffer, always said that her college years were among the best of her life... I have to agree.  

My story... pt.1

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For Colored Girls...

For Colored Girls...

Coming soon: one of my favs... For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf, a monumental, soul gripping choreopoem turned movie from the days of my (not-so-distant) youth : ).  I read this book in college and could not believe that such provocative, raw emotion could exist in such a tiny package.  TGITylerPerry!  He, of course, is masterminding the silver screen adaptation of  this Ntozake Shange classic.  I must admit, when I saw the promo posters, I caught a chill--especially from Ms. Thandie & Ms. Janet's! Check 'em out... I can hardly wait!

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Finding Fulfillment & Freedom

Finding Fulfillment & Freedom

Good morning,

It's 3:30 am and for some reason, I'm still awake.  Several hours ago I 

finished a huge project that took several weeks of long hours hoovering 

over a keyboard and paper shuffling.  It feels odd to not have a deadline 

looming over my head. Coldplay, Parachutes is deeply comforting to me on 

this introspective morning. That along with a dose of Tranquility du Jour 

#191 "Life is a verb" on iTunes to help me channel my inner go-getter.

I recently spoke to a former co-worker that I had not been in contact with 

in months and she told me that I helped to inspire her to pursue her doctoral 
degree full-time when I left teaching to pursue writing. Imagine that. I've 
never really considered myself to be so important as to "inspire" anyone. 
Encouraging, yes. Inspiring... that's kinda major. I can say that Kimberly's 
Tranquility channel helped to propel me to take charge of my happiness 

tremendously when I was a kindergarten teacher sitting @ my desk during nap 

time, longing to live outside of the box.

Like my friend/co-worker said, "All it took was faith." These days are very 
different from my former life as a teacher. I feel free. Happier than I've 

been in a long time. In some ways I've felt somewhat guilty for the everyday 

pleasure that I get from staying up late (usually working) and sleeping, most 

days until my body tells me to awaken. I (along with others) questioned my 

passion & commitment to teaching-- like I was supposed to do that one 

thing for the rest of my life.  Teaching was satisfying in a do-gooder kind 

of way.  Living as an artist, student & entreprenuer is fulfilling in a 

deeply personal way. It's like I'm on the right path to something amazing. 

Teaching, I think, was a small part of my god-given gift. It is something 

that will always naturally be a part of me, whether I work with children or 

in other capacities.

I'm glad my friend, who is also a new wife & mom has also found her way 

towards greater fulfillment. I don't feel so bad about sharing my joy when I 

know that she, one of the BEST teachers that I know is just as elated as I am 

to be free. She tells me that now she has time like she never had before to be 

with her loved ones while pursuing something that is enriching her intellect 

and professional goals. 

We both agree that going to school full-time is no cake walk, 

but the benefits are so sweet. 

          *~Never underestimate the power of passion~*                    

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TGIJ: Thank God It's July!

TGIJ: Thank God It's July!

OMG, I do not ever remember being happier to see a month go by... Thank God it's FINALLY July.  Is it just me or did June seem to be the longest month EVER?!  I mean, it started off great; the social calendar kept a steady pace.  However, for some reason, towards the end I found myself waking up everyday and checking my phone to see if it was over.  I was literally looking for(ward) to July.  I have no idea why...

Something truly amazing must be brewing.  If August nights are hot (and I know they are since that's my bday month) then July must be getting ready to be steamy  (rubbing my hands and licking my chops with a sinister grin ;).  Stay tuned!

Summer never looked so good...

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Breaking up with my television

Breaking up with my television

I'm so sad to have to announce that my television and I are officially breaking up-- Cable TV, anyway. Partly because I refuse to pay for cable and Comcast refuses to give it to me for free. Therefore, I will only watch programs on the internet at my convenience or at a friend's who has cable. No more getting sucked into mindless hours of senseless programming.

The primary reason is that I've come to the realization of exactly how awful TV is for me and my brain. My little noggin can only hold so much information before it starts to purge necessary files; there simply is not enough room for TV junk. Plus, when I compare my level of productivity and clarity of thought process during the school quarter versus when I'm on break, I'm astonished at how much more I accomplish without it.

During school I often do not have time for such frivolity. So, it only makes sense for us to part ways. No more Kardashians on Sundays, no more Bravo Housewives, Good bye BET and your gyrating music spectacles-- I'll have to catch you on YouTube, if at all. Foodnetwork, I'll miss you the most... maybe we can keep in touch on your website... (wiping the corners of my eyes).

I officially rebuke my reality TV addiction... as much as it pains me I have to let you go. My future is calling me to be my own reality star. I'll always think of you!

XOXO

I ♥ reality TV... always

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Faking It

Faking It

I was reflecting on a recent blog post about things that life is too short for and one of the things I thought to put on the list was faking it... you know orgasms. I was thinking back on the sad days of mediocre sex, which I no longer tolerate (btw) and wondering when, if ever, is it okay to fake it?


I've heard that guys have this incessant need to be reassured that they are doing a good job in bed.  The best indicator, it seems, is the female orgasm.  I've been privy to some good sex in my day but I'll admit, not every experience (even the great ones) produced the big 'O'.  I've never really had the desire or the acting capability to fake it so, whenever asked whether or not I came-- even after good sex-- I'm likely to say no if it didn't happen.  I am a firm believer that if you spend all of your time faking like you had an orgasm you're decreasing the likelihood of actually having one.  How can a guy know that he needs to try something else if you're busy oooing and ahhing over nothing.


I wish someone-- some guy-- would tell me the truth, how important is it to the male ego that your girl has an orgasm on an at least semi-, if not regular basis?  Let's not pull the unlucky chick(s) who've never had the pleasure of experiencing "the pleasure" into this conversation because she's an unfortunate exception.  Is it ever wise to fake it and do guys even know the difference?  


Just wondering...

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Burpees, Anyone?

Burpees, Anyone?

SO, I've been on my anti-gym campaign for one month strong now.  Initially it was a time issue being busy with school and all-- now that I have nothing but time on my hands I would just rather be doing other things elsewhere besides the gym.  While in Cali it was no problem to hop out of bed and go walk the lake to feel as though I had accomplished something for the day.  There are many walking trails here in my area but there ain't no way imma be outside working up a sweat in this heat!

In my quest to find creative ways to still get a good one in while avoiding the monotony of the treadmill and the hot summer sun, I came across this YouTube channel of this chick totally gettin' it in from the comforts of what looks like her basement.

What convinced me to give the little series a try is that this chick's body is sick!  Although I'm lightweight envious I'm suddenly inspired to step my game up.

***WARNING! Notice how even though she appears to be in shape this -ish is apparently not for the faint at heart because she is definitely huffin' & puffin' (and so was I).***

Check it out...

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How We Roll...

How We Roll...

I believe one of the top pleasures in my life happens to be eating; followed by the very close second top pleasure of drinking, preferably vodka or wine.  When you put the two together there isn't much that I will complain about, especially if everything is done right.  My family and I spent the entire day last Saturday doing just that-- making merriment up and down the streets of Santa Clara county.   Because I don't get a chance to talk to my cousins or aunt very much when I'm away, my mother and I always make it a point to hook up with them to do some family bonding and  take a day trip somewhere in the bay area.  This time we started at the Food and Wine Festival in Sunnyvale before making our way over to University Ave in Palo Alto.


I've always loved the area near Stanford with its cute local boutiques speckled along its tree lined avenues, the perfect cover for shopping and dining al fresco.


The restaurant, Pasta? Trattoria Italian Bar had the best pesto penne pasta and raspberry lemon drop martini...  È squisito! Our server was so jovial and warm... this place is definitely worth checking out again. Their happy hour was equally sweet with martinis and small plates for only $5.00 each.  

After a long day of shopping and hanging out we had to hit up the mother of all cupcake bakeries... my all time fav...

The perfect ending to a sweet day!

The Fam Bam

My sweet marshmellow... get well soon,

Ur tea~tea loves u!

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Life Is Too Short...

Life Is Too Short...

My favorite coffee shop (which says a lot coming from a devout tea drinker) is Caribou Coffee. For the longest time I was bored with their marketing materials and silly little slogans that didn't make sense. Which is why when I stopped in there on a study break the other week I was elated to find that they've upgraded their style with new cups, sleeves and napkins. They're quite snazzy, and very engaging I think... This one in particular spoke to and inspired me to make my own 'Life's too short for...' list.

Life's too short for many things but here are a few frivolities that immediately come to mind...

* eating imitation crab * drinking bad tea * stank attitudes * fake nails ** grudges ** laziness * holding back in love * hiding feelings * jealousy * chaos * neglecting loved ones * foolishness * fear * low self-esteem * slow internet * lying * wastefulness * mediocre sex * faking orgasms * bad fiction * watching 'Cheaters' * being unkempt * standing still * thinking inside the box * wine that tastes like spit * always texting instead of talking * fast food * diet soda * being rude to strangers * skipping dessert * well vodka * brooding over the future * too much TV * arguing over leaving the toilet seat up * taking wooden nickels * fighting over boys * always taking the easy route * hiding out in closets * sweating the small shit * arguing with strangers * getting even * falling down in a publicly drunken stupor * Splenda * denying your real age * substitutions for love *

This is, of course is not an exhaustive list, just a few thoughts... feel free to add your 2 cents ;)

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Friends, Loved Ones, & Frenemies

Friends, Loved Ones, & Frenemies

Some interesting things have happened to me and people who I'm very close to in the past 24 hours.

1. My two best friends since high school broke up, so now our bff trio is strangely divided
2. I reconnected with a good friend
3. I aged in wisdom at least 5 years, thanks to my sister

The first two may seem random when compared to the last issue, but it all seems completely relevant to me. My girl says the reason that she does not social network is because she only has time to deal with people closest to her who she loves and cares about and that love and care about her; therefore she does not care to keep in contact with internet friends. Plus, the reason for the break-up is because she feels like our other friend is showing undesired characteristics of a frenemy (some internet behavior, among other things)-- a whole different bag of oranges that I am not privy to discuss here.

However, I know that I am guilty of having been a frenemy to both friends and family. I have not always been the best sister that a girl could want and I've definitely had fall outs now and again with the closest of my girlfriends. Somehow we always manage to make up and work things out (even if it takes years).

Case in point, I had to really weigh the pros and cons of keeping a friend of mine around. The more I payed attention to the relationship the more I found that there were certain things that I disliked about it-- She's very opinionated, she loves to gossip, and her green-eyed monster shows up unexpectedly and at inopportune times. Despite those things, she is a very good friend to me and everything else that she brings to the friendship far outweigh the negative. After all, no one is perfect... I know I've done things.

In that relationship as well as with others-- especially family it seems important not to be judgmental. I try to be good, but I'm definitely no angel. Which is why before my trip to California I made the decision that I was going to be a better sister to my sisters (and brother). For so many years I behaved like an only child-- doing things only when it was convenient for me, thinking of myself first, it never really occurred to me that I was being self-centered. A recent conversation with my sister, who's 26 helped me realize that no matter how ugly I can be, she and the family know, "that's just how you are sometimes," and they love me regardless.

Nevertheless, all of these things got me wondering... is it always necessary to break-up with a friend when they behave badly? And what about family-- are they subject to the same frenemy clause that we use to oust friends turned frenemies who we no longer like? It seems that we live in a world where we are so used to instant gratification and getting what we want that we have no problem throwing people away when they fail to meet our expectations.

One thing I've learned is that people, especially the ones we love, will disappoint you... it's only a matter of time. I'm just happy to have loved ones in my circle who think that I'm a keeper and I've decided to do my best to be the kind of friend and sister that I, too would want to keep around.

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From the 'A' to the Bay

From the 'A' to the Bay

After 10 grueling weeks of candidacy review, 80 page portfolio compiling, and countless critical analysis papers I'm finally free!

It feels so good to put grad school on the back burner, if only for a second, and to be back in the Bay chillin' with the fam. My girl just graduated from nursing school so you already know... it's time to celebrate b**ches!

I'm back!

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